Storm Clouds

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend about silver linings. With the economy the way it is, book sales—along with almost all other sales—taking a beating, and lots of gloom and doom on the news, it’s easy to get depressed and start thinking that this is a crazy time to publish a book, or write a new manuscript, or look for a job, or whatever it is that you know you should be doing, but feel too down to even try. We both agreed that in retrospect, some of our best opportunities came as the silver lining on otherwise dark stormy clouds.

I guess the timing of the conversation was pretty appropriate, because today, about an hour after I came into work, my boss entered my office and closed the door. We chatted for a few minutes about how he wasn’t feeling too great, and stress of the economy, etc. Finally, he kind of sat back in his chair, and said, “I didn’t come here to talk about me.”

Ahhhh. Suddenly the dime dropped. This was that conversation. I have to admit, I was not expecting this at all. We’d just had layoffs, and the management assured us they were the only layoffs planned. Apparently this was not planned. (Hey, I know how that goes. In fact a couple of our best kids were . . .) Anyway, back to my point. He was coming in to tell me that I was being let go the end of this week.

I guess he was surprised that I wasn’t angry, or didn’t burst into tears or something, because after I told him I understood, he said, “Wow. You’re taking this a lot better than I am.” In fact I’m pretty sure he thought someone had given me advance notice. They hadn’t. And I admit, it took me a while to digest the information. But the thing is, what’s the point in getting upset? They have their business to run. I have my business to run. Hopefully the two are in sync. But sometimes they aren’t. And when they aren’t, one of us has to make a change. That’s what they were doing.

After letting my sales team know about the change, I took the rest of the afternoon off to get my thoughts together. I called my wife, and said, “Well, Honey, the good news is, I have a lot more time to write.” She picked up on that pretty quick.

Once we talked things out, we realized this might be one of those blessings in disguise. The good news is that over the last couple of months we’ve paid off both of our cars and all of our credit cards. Only a week ago, we finished refinancing our house. And we’ve got a little money in the bank, which hasn’t always been the case. And I get my first royalty on Farworld in January. So we aren’t going to starve any time soon.

But even more than that. I’ve really felt for the last few months like I needed to spend more time on my writing, and marketing my books. Yes the economy is tough, but as I wrote about a few weeks back, people are still buying books. They are being more picky, but they are still buying. I just need to make sure that it is my books they are buying. I also have several projects I need to finish up. Farworld Book Two of course. But also a regional mystery series I write, that I am far overdue on. I also have a couple of other projects I’m really excited about. One about a boy who gets turned into a zombie and another about a boy who is afraid of everything, who discovers he is a facilitator—a person who talks monsters out of their fears.

When I first got home, my stomach was still a little in knots. But the more my wonderful wife and I talked, the more we realized that we may have been pushed out the door a little sooner than we planned, but this is what we’ve both wanted to do. At least for the next few months, I will be a fulltime writer. I will be able to focus on nothing but writing and marketing. I can do what I love, and get paid for it. Will it last? I probably won’t know that until sometime around late January. At that point, if I have to go back to work for a while longer I will. But rather than stress, I plan on enjoying the next couple of months. If things work out, I am a fulltime writer as of this Saturday. But even if they don’t, I am still a fulltime writer as of this Saturday. I may just have to take a little break from being a full time writer, later in the year.

So here are just a few of the things I plan on enjoying during that time. Eight plus hours of writing, without feeling like I am neglecting my family, my job, or my yard. (Thank goodness for snow.) Speaking of snow; watching the snow fall without worrying about how bad it will be to drive to work in it. And for that matter driving an hour and back to work every day. Responding to e-mails and postings from my friends and readers the same day. Finishing writing two books and getting well into a third by Christmas. Being here when my boys come home from school. Enjoying my daughter’s plans for getting married in the spring. And finally, doing what I want to do. Not what someone else wants me to do.

I guess when my boss asked me why I didn’t look more upset when he told me I was being fired, I should have answered. “Monday, you’ll be driving to a job. Monday, I’ll be doing one of the things I love most in the world. Thanks!”

Thanks goodness for dark clouds, and the silver linings that come with them.

Writing, Plot, or Character?

I’m still in the process of putting together a post detailing the events of my recent book tour. Here’s a link to an article in the Salt Lake Tribune. And here’s a fun picture of the Elementary school I graduated from.

But in the meantime, I thought I’d talk a little about what, in my opinion, makes a novel bad, good, or great. What I want to discuss are three of the key elements of any novel: plot, character, and writing. (Quality of writing, not, you know, writing itself—as opposed to say ballads, campfire stories, interactive hula dancing, etc.)

For some reason, lately I’ve been rereading several books. I’m reading A Wrinkle in Time to my kids, I’m rereading the Thomas Covenant trilogy, and I’m rereading Asimov’s Foundation series. Interestingly enough, the only story I’m enjoying as much as I remembered is Foundation.

Why? Well first of all, Wrinkle in Time is much slower reading than I remembered. The writing is beautiful, the characters are a little one dimensional, but the pacing is so slow, my kids’ eyes glaze over. We just finished the part where one of the women (Mrs. Who?) turns into the flying horse and flies to the top of the mountain to show the children the shadow of evil. Literally, the story reads like, “They flew higher and higher, until they were past the clouds. And higher still. But the top of the mountain still seemed far away. Meg marveled at how high they were and how thin the air was. Still the horse’s wings strained against the thin air.” Right, I get it. They are flying high. Get back to the story!

So why do I remember enjoying the book so much? Was it because of how unique it was at the time? Did that make me overlook the flaws that put my boys to sleep? Or is life just faster now? Are our expectations different because of computers, video games, etc? I don’t think it can be the pace of life because other books are still as interesting. Maybe it’s that in memory I overlook the flaws because the overall story was so good. Or maybe I just hadn’t read a lot of fantasy back then, so everything seemed more magical?

The last time I read the Thomas Covenant series was back in high school. I remembered it was darker than most fantasy. What I didn’t remember was what an incredibly annoying protagonist Thomas Covenant was. I’ve reread the first two books, and I want to grab him by the hair, and shout, “People don’t hate you because you are a leper. They hate you because you are a big selfish crybaby! Get over yourself and think about someone else for once. Come on man, you’ve spent two entire books offending people and refusing to even try to help. Man up!”

Again, why did I like the series so much back in the day? I had read Terry Brooks by then; and of course Lord of the Rings. So fantasy series weren’t brand new. But it was still pretty unique. There are parts of the story that are powerful, the writing is strong, and the world-building is amazing. But, at least to this point, I’ve had to force myself to finish each book, and it’s been a slog.

How about Foundation? I’ve heard people say how stark Asimov’s writing is. I honestly didn’t remember that. But as I go back and read his work, they are absolutely right. I don’t think there is any mention of smells, sounds, or other senses. The characters have no personality at all to speak of—except that nearly anyone of any importance smokes cigars. The pace is extremely quick. No character stays around for long. It shouldn’t be a good book. But it is. The story is just so compelling, to me at least, that I have to read more.

So what makes a good book? First of all, I have to say that greatness in any of the three above mentioned categories can override weaknesses in the other two. Asimov’s plot is so strong that the reader can forgive the fact that his writing is stark and his characters are merely placeholders. In the same way though, one major weak point can pull down the other two. Stephen R. Donaldson is a poet of a writer. His descriptions and world-building are incredible. And the overall story is powerful. But the main character is so annoying, he nearly ruins the whole thing.

Obviously, we’d love a book with great writing, memorable characters, and an incredible plot. When all the pieces are clicking, we have a book that can achieve lasting greatness. But which of the three is the most important—whether for the good or the bad?

Let’s start with quality of writing. In my experience, books that are extremely popular, with a lot of readers tend to have only adequate writing. Books that are popular with the critics tend to have incredible writing. Why? Because really beautiful prose can actually overpower a story. The average reader wants to see the hero hurl a bolt of fiery blue steel at the rushing horde of gnolls or the heroine find her true love. She doesn’t want flowery prose and vivid descriptions to get in the way of the action. Of course there is a time for flowery prose, but if the focus turns from the story to the writing, the author has intruded on the reader.

Don’t get me wrong. I love great writing. In fact, one of the best compliments I received on my tour was from a librarian who said I should thank my English teachers. She said that she reads so many children’s books that have a great story but lousy writing. But she loved my writing and my story. (Yes, I misted up a little.) J

A great plot beats great writing in my book. Imagine this crusty old miner sitting around a campfire and telling you about the time he and Bessie were trapped for three days in a collapsed gold mine with a dozen hungry rattlers. He may not use the most beautiful language. He may jump back and forth a little and overuse the word fearsome. But you are still on the edge of your seat. A Wrinkle in Time may not have had the fastest paced writing. But it was a cool story. I mean she invented IT before Stephen King did. A Camazotz is just dang spooky.

But, personally, I have to put character at the top of the list. The biggest complaint I have about many of the books I don’t like, is that I just don’t care enough about the characters. Put Julie T. Protagonist in the middle of a raging fire, with bad guys everywhere, and the love of her life in the clutches of I. M. Antagonist, and I’m just going to yawn if I don’t care about the characters. Ideally I should love your protagonist. I should definitely empathize with her. But if I don’t even care about her, your story is destined to fail.

I think characters are what made the Harry Potter series so incredibly successful. JK Rowling has a way of making you care about even the most minor character. Think about Colin Creevey. He is a thrown in. A minor walk-on character. But anyone who has read the series remembers the cute little kid with the camera. I also think that’s a huge part of the success of Twilight. People loved Edward and Bella. Of course this is also why many people were less happy with some of the later books. But the very fact that they cared enough to get that upset, shows the emotional investment the author built up in her readers.
Next week, I’ll take a stab at what makes strong characters. But for now, I’ll open the question to you. What is most important to you when reading a book? Writing, plot, or character?

Book Time

Time is a funny thing. For something so infinitely measurable, it seems to have quite a bit of flexibility. Stephen King describes this in his short story, ?My Pretty Pony.? He talks about how time moves faster for older people than for children. How it slows down during something we dislike, but flies by when we are enjoying ourselves.

And how we measure time depends to a great deal on our current circumstances. When my kids were little they had no concept of an hour. Telling them we would leave to go for ice-cream in an hour left them scratching their heads. ?How long is an hour?? they?d ask. Our response was something like, ?Two Gummi Bears.? Or, ?Two Under the Umbrella Trees.? Those of you unfamiliar with kids? television shows of the early nineties might be scratching your own heads right now. But for our children?who knew exactly how long a single episode of Gummi Bears was?it answered their time question perfectly.

For another example, consider travel time (not time travel which is another question entirely.) If I told you I was going on a seven day trip, what might you imagine? A car drive to Ohio and back? Four or five days in New York with flights to and from? A week in Mexico? A quick jaunt to Paris?

What if you had asked someone the same question a hundred years ago? Two hundred? Back when a trip from Ohio to California was not only months long, but filled with the very real possibility of death, a four day trip might be what we?d consider an afternoon drive. Yes, it is because distances have shortened with modern travel. But you have to admit that it has also changed the way we view time. Would you even consider taking a trip that included months of slow monotonous travel? I don?t think most of us have the same kind of patience people back then possessed.

Book time is another weird variation. There is how time moves within a book. Consider that some books jump centuries in a single chapter. Others cover the formation and growth of a state, country, or even planet. And yet others may cover only a day or two in the entire length of the book. If it is handled skillfully, the reader is really not even conscious of the work it takes to either stretch two days into an entire novel, or transition from 12th century Europe to modern day Israel without pulling the reader out of the story.

Then there?s reading time. I Hate?with a capital H?finding myself on a plane without a book. Even if the flight is only a couple of hours, I feel completely trapped without something to read. Time seems to just slog by. I?m sure for someone who flies less it might not be such a big deal, but I feel like I?m stuck in a padded room with no source of entertainment as the seconds slowly tick by. Yes, there are occasionally movies?but never anything you really want to watch, and usually on tiny little screens like look like they haven?t had the color adjusted since 1982. I also have my MP3 player?doesn?t everyone these days?but I like music as background, not my primary entertainment.

On the other hand, I can breeze through even the longest flights if I have a good book to get lost in. I always try to keep at least a couple of books in my travel bag, so I can move from one to another if I get bored, or have a backup in case I finish one sooner than expected. Somehow having a good book to read makes me a much more patient person. It?s like time traveling for the mind.

Finally there is book time for authors. This is a really weird phenomenon that takes a while to get used to. Water Keep, which won?t hit shelves for nearly three months, first came to me nearly two years ago. I started writing it in the fall of 2006. It was accepted in the spring of 2007. Except for small edits here and there, I haven?t written anything on it for months. For me, it?s old news. I?m caught up in the excitement of writing the second book in the series. Kyja and Marcus looking for Water Keep feels like it happened five or even ten years ago.

It would be easy to be sick of the book since I?ve read it so many times. But then I get to revisit it through fresh eyes. I get to hear how much people like Kyja. Or how cool they think the Unmakers are. As I answer the questions for the blog tour, it?s almost like I?ve been transported back in time to when Water Keep was fresh and new for me. It?s how I feel when I reread an old favorite to my kids?like ?Where the Red Fern Grows,? or ?A Wrinkle in Time.?

Of course, I also have people tell me about things they wish I?d done better. That?s when time suddenly catches up and I go, ?Well, not much I can do about that now.? But then, I can try to improve on those things in book 2.

Still it?s a weird phenomenon. Kind of like having time overlap for a while. When I go on my ten city tour to promote Water Keep, I will have already finished writing Land Keep. I will probably get an advance for book two before I get a royalty check for book one. I will be out getting kids excited about the first book in a series, while my mind is already beginning the plot details of the third book.

The good news is, I love talking about books and I also love writing books. So even though I may be caught up in this weird time vortex, I will be enjoying myself, so time won?t drag at all. Unless I get caught on a plane with nothing to read. Shudder.

The Market

A friend of mine (writing as a sheepish anonymous poster) recently wrote about not writing for ?the market,? and thought I might take offense at that. I?m sure he didn?t really think I?d be offended, but was instead referring to a strongly held belief of mine that you shouldn?t try to write what sells unless you hope to sell what you write. Today I thought I?d post about the difference between writing for ?the market? and writing ?what sells.?

First of all let?s define the two directions. I do not believe there is any such thing as THE (note the effective use of capitalization here) market. There are lots of markets. The romance market, the fantasy market, the middle grade market, the non-fiction market. In fact there are really more markets than there are genres, because you can combine them. How about little old ladies who only buy paperback medical romances? That?s a market. And if you could corner it, you could make a decent living as a writer.

When people talk about writing for the market, they generally mean it in a negative way. Writing a book with the intent to sell a lot of copies. Or selling out for the sake of a buck. For example an author who put extra sex scenes into a book, or profanity, or gratuitous violence, or a profusion of crabapples. (Just wanted to see if you were still paying attention.) Let me just say that if all you had to do to sell a million books was insert x, y, or , z, 90% of the writers out there would be writing for ?the market.?

The truth of the matter is that no one?not even publishers or agents?know what the next big thing is. Could you have predicted prior to Twilight that everyone and her daughter would be buying vampire books? Prior to Harry Potter, the NY Times bestseller list wasn?t forced to pull children?s books off their main list. Since no one really knows what the market wants, how can you possibly write for it?

The second direction is writing what sells. I know what you?re thinking. ?Didn?t you just say that nobody knows what sells?? Yes and no. It?s very difficult to predict what the next big seller will be (other than books by established authors or things like movie tie-ins.) It is much easier to predict what will not sell. Think about it. You may not be able to guess what the next fashion craze will be. But you could probably look at neon green spandex neckties with leather fringe and say, ?It ain?t that.?

A certain smaller publisher I know has determined that their bestsellers are mysteries/thrillers, romance, historical fiction, and nonfiction. If you want to write for them, it would be a smart idea to do your homework and not send them a memoir of your first thirteen years living in a beach house on the coast. If you want to write your memoir, by all means go ahead and do so. But just understand, your chances of selling it to this publisher are pretty slim.

One of the first things an agent or publisher wants to know about your book is who you are marketing it to. In one of my recent polls, I asked what type of book you like. The general answer was a story which meets the guidelines of the genre you are reading, but that stands out from the competition. If you are writing a romance, have the two get together at the end, but do so in a unique and unexpected way.

Two recent movies are very good examples of the problem with not understanding the market. Iron Man is a fairly typical super hero flick. Was there really anything in the movie that made you go, ?Wow! I?ve never seen anything like that before?? Probably not. It was somewhat predictable. But it had a solid script, solid acting, and a storyline that was easy to fall into. In other words, it met the needs of the super hero/action adventure crowd.

Next, let?s look at Speed Racer. Even critics who didn?t like the movie admit it had good acting and incredible special effects. The script wasn?t amazing, but it wasn?t significantly worse than Iron Man. In fact, I would go so far as to say that while the plot was just as predictable as Iron Man, the style and cinematography was superior. So why did Iron Man rake in the bucks while Speed Racer flopped? Don?t tell me it was because today?s audience doesn?t remember Speed Racer. Today?s audience hasn?t read any Iron Man comics for the most part either.

I believe that the difference comes down to understanding your market and meeting its need. The super hero market is easy to define. It?s been done dozens of times. It?s not hard to see where some succeeded and others failed. But who was the market for Speed Racer? Was it a kid?s movie? Was it a chick flick? Was it an action adventure? Was it a family movie? At different times it was all of those. But the trailers didn?t nail any one target audience.

Here?s what I?m trying to say. First and foremost write what you love and love what you write. If you find yourself adding scenes to make your book more sellable, you are probably not writing what you love. But once you know what you love, read the books in that genre and find out what works. I?m not saying copy. I?m saying study. Learn why Harry Potter succeeded while so many YA fantasies bombed. Read not only to see what has worked before but to give you ideas on what hasn?t been done yet. Understand the rules of your genre and know when and why you are breaking them.

It?s hard enough to succeed in this business. Don?t hurt your chances any more by deciding you will only write what comes from your heart and who cares whether anyone likes it or not. Again, I?m not saying that people who write just for the fun of it are wrong. What I am sick of hearing are people who think that publishers only want to buy what sells. That?s like the authors who whine that their readers don?t understand their work. As an author, my job is to write something that people will read, love, and buy. If they don?t understand my work, that?s my fault not theirs. And if I am so condescending as to think that they should all come around to my way of thinking, I?m in the wrong business.

The Monster in the Closet

Fun Saturday. Ran five miles with my dad this morning. He is seventy years old and still makes me work to keep up. We ran along a trail that follows the edge of the Wasatch Mountains. A lot of people don?t know that most of Utah actually used to be a big lake. Apparently someone pulled the plug, because now much of Utah is desert. The trail is called the Lake Bonneville Trail, and it runs along what was once the shoreline.



After that, my wife and I took our two youngest boys out to lunch and to see Iron Man. Wow, so good! Robert Downey Jr. is a stud actor. Hope he continues to keep his life together now as I?d like to see him in a lot more movies. I also liked the scene after the credits. It gave me a fun idea for the actual release of Water Keep. Have to see what Shadow Mountain thinks of my idea.


Speaking of Shadow Mountain, I have a couple of updates. The ARCs are at press. Hoping they will be back before the end of the month. This also means they are working on the posters and bookmarks. Cool huh?

Also, they are going to do something pretty neat with the inside illustrations. (The illustrations are not in the ARCs.) Since the book is divided into four sections, they are going to do one picture at the beginning of each section. But what I think is really cool is that each picture is going to be a two page spread. It will cover both the left and right pages at the beginning of each part. Now I just have to come up with a couple of possibilities for each section. They need to represent the whole part of the book, but can?t give away too much. Hmmm, this is going to require some thought.

Finally, I received an e-mail from Daren H, with a couple of good questions. I thought I?d answer one of them today and the second one tomorrow. Here?s what he asked. (I?ve edited his letter a little to focus on the actual question.)

You mentioned, in one of your earlier posts, that you started Farworld with Marcus about to be ambushed. I was interested to see that the book actually begins with Bonesplinter's audience.

I have mixed feelings about that technique: On the one hand, it gives the reader a taste of things to come (and presumably an incentive to read through the initial material that sets up the story). On the other, one runs the risk of trivializing the antagonist--a fear you can define is less fearsome than one whose limits are not known.

Did you decide to begin with Bonesplinter in what is basically a prologue (as you mentioned in another post), or did the first chapter come out of the editorial process with Shadow Mountain? If it was the first case, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the pros and cons of revealing the antagonist at the very beginning. If it was the second case, I'd like to hear about your experience in the editorial process, the give and take between you and Lisa Mangum, and what you learned from it in terms of the craft of writing and elements that improve the books marketability.

Actually, now that I've written both questions, I'd like to hear your thoughts on both subjects.

Thanks for the questions, Daren. It?s funny you should ask this question now as I?ve recently had a rather interesting online discussion with several other authors regarding the pros and cons of prologues. I won?t rehash my take on prologues in this posting, but rather I?ll focus on the pros and cons of introducing an antagonist early in the book. And in particular why I chose to do it in Water Keep.

First of all let?s discuss what showing your hand early accomplishes and what it loses. As most of the masters of horror will tell you, the scariest monster is the one that?s still in the closet. The reason being is that, as a reader, you can imagine whatever might be the scariest to you. Once you open the closet door, you risk the reader going, ?Oh, it?s only a flesh eating spider with poison-dripping fangs and red eyes? I?ve seen dozens of those before.?

Another good reason for keeping the antagonist hidden is the mystery angle. Who really is the bad guy, and when and where will he strike? A great example of this was the first Harry Potter book. Voldemort is so frightening precisely because we don?t see him until the end of the book and then he is living on the back of someone?s head. Most creepy.

One of the problems with using this technique is the very fact that you must keep the antagonist in the closet. It doesn?t do you much good to hide the monster, only to have it show up in chapter 3. In a movie you could get away with having the creature strike so quickly you can?t see it clearly, or in the dark, or have it kill other characters. You can do the same thing in a book, but it limits your options. I personally like my protagonist to be proactive about fighting against his or her adversary. A proactive protagonist is much more likeable than someone who is always reacting to what?s thrown at them.

Another problem with using this technique is that in a fantasy series, you can really only get away with this trick in one book. Tough to keep the monster in the closet for five books. One way to get around this is to have progressively tougher antagonists to fight in each book. As your heroine grows stronger, so does her adversary.

I think it really comes down to what you?re trying to accomplish, and what each technique buys you. In my case, I had a couple of reasons for showing Bonesplinter early. The first is that Bonesplinter is going to show up soon anyway. Marcus needs to be put on the run early in the book, and the way I accomplish this is by having the bad guys show up.

Another equally important reason is that one of the biggest complaints I hear about YA fantasies is that they start too slowly. We typically first see our hero in rather ordinary circumstances (living under a staircase, in a hobbit hole, at a school.) This is so that we can throw them into extraordinary circumstances. I actually have two protagonists?Marcus and Kyja. Because of the way the story flows, we meet Marcus first. That means my first few chapters must take place on Earth. By showing Bonesplinter first, I accomplish two things. I get to introduce them (the boy and the girl) in the first chapter. And I get to give the reader a brief taste of my fantasy world.

Another thing to consider is that I actually reveal two potentially dangerous adversaries in chapter one, while hiding a third. We meet Bonesplinter, and get a taste of what is really going on in his head, (Can you say power hungry?) while also hinting at his back story. We meet the really nasty Summoners. But there is another baddy who stays in the shadows. What?s really going on in the head of the hidden antagonist? What is the figure hiding in the shadows up to? Of course there is the obvious. But is there more?

When I first thought up this series, I envisioned a story that grew like Lord of the Rings. In the first book we meet the two main characters, a couple of bad characters, and several side characters. There is a quest, lots of danger, several side stories, and a stopping point that wraps up one part of the story while leaving several things open, and introducing the next part of the quest.

As the series progresses, the danger appears on more fronts. We meet more heroes and the danger increases. Bonesplinter is not the only antagonist, and while there is plenty of swords and sorcery, there is also political intrigue, and battles on many fronts.

Could I have kept Bonesplinter hidden? Sure. And it would have worked just fine. But by introducing him early, we turn it from a horror/mystery to a thriller. We know who Bonesplinter is. But when will he strike next, and what might he be willing to do to increase his own power? And in the course of trying to complete their quest, Kyja and Marcus meet many more nasty creatures.

I guarantee you not all of the books in the series will start this way. In at least one of the books, you won?t see the scariest creature until the very end. But that?s another thing I like to see in a series. Surprise me. Instead of giving me five books that are different versions of the same song, take a new angle. I want each book to be bigger and better than the one before it, so I can?t wait for the next one to come out.

Hope that answers your question. Tomorrow I?ll write about the editing process and how it works best for me.

Suspension of Disbelief, or Keeping the Magic Alive

After recently finishing ?Heart Shaped Box? by Joe Hill, (Very, very good read. Some language people might find offensive, but he is definitely his father?s son. In fact I liked the ending much better than most of Stephen King?s novels.), I started his ?20th Century Ghosts? last week.

So far I am really enjoying this book of short stories. However the third story in the book, ?Pop Art,? was especially remarkable. It begins with this sentence. ?When I was twelve years old, my best friend was inflatable.? Now before you start getting any funny ideas, let me clarify. This is a story about two twelve year-old boys, one of whom is inflatable. Not a doll mind you. But an inflatable boy.

The narrator says this about his friend. ?The condition Art suffered from is one these genetic things that plays hopscotch with the generations, like Tay-Sachs (Art told me once that he had a grand-uncle, also inflatable, who flopped one day into a pile of leaves and burst on the tine of a buried rake).?

Now imagine for a minute that you just came up with the idea for this story. Your friend asks, ?What?s the story about?? You answer with a straight face, ?A twelve year old kid with an inflatable friend.? Your friend says something like, ?That?s the lamest idea I ever heard.?

The idea is completely crazy. I mean how could the reader possibly be expected to believe in an inflatable kid? But the thing of it is, you do. I did. When the inflatable boy is nearly popped, the reader is actively concerned for his well being. The author has you worrying about a kid with a blow-up valve on his shoulder.

Why?

Primarily it?s about something called suspension of disbelief. In simpler terms it means that the reader wants to believe your story. Interestingly enough Stephen King himself, compares it to a magician and an audience. When people go to a magic show, they are trying to figure out the tricks. They don?t want to believe the performer up on the stage is actually doing magic. They don?t want to be tricked.

With a book however, it?s exactly the opposite. The reader wants to believe in magic. That?s one of the main reasons they?ve opened the book in the first place. They want to believe in spells, and wizards, and ghosts, and inflatable boys. They are giving the author the benefit of the doubt and it?s up to the author not to let them down.

How does an author maintain that belief the reader has given him or her? First off by being consistent. In the case of Pop Art, Hill shows us that the boy can?t talk because he has no mouth. He has to write on a tablet hung around his neck. (With crayons of course. No sharp pencils.) He shows the boy being batted up into the air by some bullies with a Wiffle bat. He even has a little story to explain why Art wasn?t circumcised. (Art is a Jewish inflatable boy.) It?s a great story. You completely believe in Art. You like him. You worry for him.

The next thing is that you have to create rules and stick to those rules. Art can?t run fast because he basically has no muscles. But he can jump quite high, quite quickly. He is prone to the same problems any inflatable would be prone to. He has to be regularly inflated. He must avoid sharp objects. He is easily knocked around. By sticking to the rules, Hill keeps us believing.

These same rules apply to fantasy. Magic is one of the toughest things to deal with in a fantasy novel. The biggest problem is how magic works. What limits are placed on it.

As an author you have to decide the ?rules? of magic. Is there a limit to it? Must it recharge? Who can use it and where does it come from? Even if you don?t call the magic magic, you still must have rules. JK Rowling gets around quite a bit of this by limiting how magic can be used in front of muggles. She also has the kids learn a little more as they go.

Of course there are always going to be loopholes. Why, for instance, are the Weasleys so poor if they can transmute one thing to another? If you can change a mouse to a cup, why not change an orange to a diamond? But early on Rowling showed us Gringotts Vault. By showing us that even magic folk protected their money, we accept that for some reason there is still a currency. Maybe magic coins can?t be conjured? It doesn?t really matter as long as we are consistent.

Another thing an author must do if he is going to maintain disbelief is prepare the reader for things to come. By showing us early how good Harry Potter is on a broom right from the start, it is okay later to have him use that talent in Quidditch, the Tri-Wizard tournament, etc. In fact we even add to the belief when we learn that genetics are in play as Harry?s father was a great Seeker. It would have completely pulled us out of the story if Harry hadn?t discovered he was good on a broom until he needed it to get out of a scrape.

Another thing that is key, is characterization. Recently I was talking to a friend about a book she wasn?t too impressed with. ?Even in the middle of the battle,? she said, ?I didn?t care what happened.? That?s because the character hadn?t become real to her. Every major character, good or bad, must have believable motives. They must have side stories. I would not have cared near as much about what happened to Art if I hadn?t come to really like him as a person. In the moments when we share his hopes and dreams, we forget he is inflatable.

The great thing about being a fantasy author is that I know my readers are looking for cool things. They want a world that surprises and mystifies them. They want fanciful creatures and exciting adventures. The downside is that fantasy readers, ironically enough, are the toughest to sneak anything by on. If I explain why some things change when they go from one world to another?or if I even have the characters make an educated guess but leave open that more information may be forthcoming?readers will accept it. But if I just randomly have some things change and others not, they will eat me alive.

So what keeps you believing, and what pulls you out of the story?

An Update on the BLOG Tour and Treating NESS

Before I do my actual post about multiple storylines, let me pass on some great news. The ARCs are on track for early May. I haven?t seen the sketches for the cover art yet, but from what I?ve heard, it sounds like the cover is going to be great. I am supposed to get final edits back about the third week of this month. Okay, stop yawning. I?m getting to the good stuff. What this means to you is that the Farworld Blog Tour is officially a go.

Sometime early next week I will post the juicy details, but the 2000 foot overview is that on Monday April 14th I will take the first 200 people who sign up for the tour. You agree to post a review of Farworld book one along with ten or so questions and answers appropriate to your blog. Shadow Mountain agrees to send you an Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) for you to review and to ship a copy anywhere in the US as part of a contest which you tie to the tour. Just as an FYI, if you haven?t ever seen an ARC, it looks very much like the hardback?same cover art, same size, same formatting inside?but often it doesn?t have the inside illustrations, and it could have a few typos since it is created from the gallies of the book before they get the final, final, edit.

Here?s one new twist I decided to add. It looks like we are going to get a really good response as I?ve already heard from over a hundred bloggers wanting to take part. But you can guarantee that you are part of the tour and help build publicity for the event by posting a link on your blog about the tour when I post the actual details (on or about the 7th of April.) Everyone who blogs about the tour and encourages other bloggers to sign up will be guaranteed a pair of ARCs. How can you complain about that huh?

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program. Have you ever read a book and come away from it thinking, ?You know that was a cool plot, but I really didn?t feel any connection to the characters?? Or have you ever read a book where the big twist of the story took so long to get to that you either found yourself turning to the back of the book to see what the solution was, or abandoning the book altogether? If so, the book might have been suffering NESS. Not Enough Storylines Syndrome.

NESS is pretty much what it sounds like. A severe weakening of your plot and or characters because of a deficiency of storylines, causing the reader to become disinterested and or frustrated. Additional side effects may include nausea (that book made me puke), bleeding (I swear I was about to jab my eyes out with a bookmark if something didn?t happen), trembling (I was shaking with rage because I couldn?t stand how the author dragged out the story), or worst of all drowsiness (it put me to sleep.)

The reason it is important to have multiple storylines is much like the reason a good meal must have multiple dishes. Steak is great. But ask anyone who?s been on an Atkins diet. Without anything else, meat gets old fast. But it?s not just about variety. Storylines allow you to reveal enough information that the reader can live with the fact that you are hiding the ultimate answer. They allow you to keep the story moving forward without having every chapter build up to one big climax. They allow you to give the characters additional depth.

Let me give you an example. Let?s say our main storyline is about a girl discovering she is really the Queen. How do we begin the story? Well if it?s like most stories where ordinary people do extraordinary things, we probably have to begin with her living a simple farm life. That way we can enjoy the surprise along with her when she discovers her true identity.

Let?s take the first five chapters of our book and examine how exciting they are in relationship to that one storyline.

Chapter 1 Nothing happens
Chapter 2 Nothing happens
Chapter 3 A wondering wizard finds a mysterious letter
Chapter 4 The protagonist?s mother dies and tells the girl she is not who she think she is
Chapter 5 Nothing Happens

On a scale of 1 to 10. with 1 being no moment on the storyline and 10 being the most exciting point, we probably have something like 1,1,3,6,1.

Three chapters of absolute nothingness. Now you could fix that by creating a linear storyline something like this, 1,2,3,4,5. But even then, you start out with a boring beginning and how long can you keep raising the stakes without the reader revolting?

Instead, let?s add a secondary storyline. Since we want the reader to empathize with our protagonist, let?s have her supporting her sick mother and four younger brothers and sisters. And since we want to begin with a bang, lets start with a fight at work that ends up with her losing her job. In fact, to be mean, let?s have her lose her job in the first chapter, and get robbed by the mean boss in the second chapter. Then in chapter five we?ll have her offered a job by the wondering wizard. In this storyline, we now have an 8,10,1,1,5. True there are two ones, but those are chapters that already have a three and a six.

So now if we take the highest score?from either storyline?in each chapter, it looks like this, 8,10,3,6,5. Not bad. But chapter three still has me a little worried. All I?ve really got happening is the wizard finding the letter, and I really like to have all of my chapters be a six or higher. There?s nothing worse than a chapter that feels liked it was just stuck in to connect the chapter before it and the one after.

I think we really need another storyline. The one area we haven?t focused on is the antagonist. And as I discussed in a previous blog, the antagonist is one of the most important parts of your hook. The current queen would be the obvious choice. But remember that wondering wizard? The one who finds the letter and gives our poor protagonist a job? How evil would it be if we made him the bad guy? Of course he will have his own motives that we?ll fill in later. But let?s have him find the letter, realize what it means, and try to poison our heroine. We can?t kill her off in the third chapter of the book, but . . . mom?s death certainly looks a little more suspicious now doesn?t it? And how on edge will the reader be when the girl they now love takes a job with the man they hate?

Our third storyline would look like this, 1,1,8,7,10. Chapters 3,4, and 5 build up with the wizard finding the letter and trying to poison the girl, the mother accidentally ingesting the poison and dying, and the girl taking a job with the very person. Our overall storyline, with each of the three arcs looks like 8,10,8,7,10. Now that is a story!
One of the other benefits of having the three storylines going is that we can have smaller resolutions along the way to the major climax. It wouldn?t be much of a story if the heroine regained the title of queen halfway through the book. But we could have her come into enough money to support her family halfway through. And we could certainly have her discover the true nature of the wizard 3/4s of the way through. These little victories keep the reader satisfied on the way to the ultimate conclusion.

You can get too many storylines going on, making the reader lose focus. But if you stick with somewhere between three and five main storylines in a typical book of 70k+ words, you should be fine. Middle grade novels or early chapter books will probably not have as many storylines, while a series like the wheel of time could have dozens.

What?s your opinion?

Writing Conferences

Over the past two months I have taken part in five different writing events. In some of them I was the only presenter. In others I was one of many presenters. And in others I was part of a panel of writers. Early in my writing career, I attended several of these types of events as a conference attendee. I remember not being sure how to go about things, and being nervous I?d either miss a chance to make a contact or offend someone by being too pushy. Then I began attending the events as a presenter, which brought its own unique challenges. At this point in my writing career, there?s not a lot that fazes me in these events, so I thought I?d offer some advice from both sides of the fence.

Things to know as a paid attendee:

First and foremost, if you have aspirations of becoming a published or even just a polished writer, you MUST attend writers? conferences. I?m not going to say you can?t get published without going to a writers? conference, because I did. But I honestly believe you can get more out of a conference of published authors and industry professionals than an entire semester of creative writing. Not to mention the fact that making contacts with editors and agents is invaluable.

Take lots of notes. There is nothing worse than learning something really valuable and after getting home, realizing you can?t remember what the presenter said. Sometimes it?s as simple as a couple of bullets which apply directly to the novel you are working on. If you do lose your notes, try e-mailing the presenter with a question or two.

Think about what classes to take in relation to where you are currently at. Does it really make sense to take a class on internet marketing when you are nowhere close to completing your first book? Most conferences try to provide a variety of tracks and skill levels.

Most conferences have at least a couple of panels. Research them and think about questions in advance. It often surprises me how many people are sitting in front of a panel of publishers and can?t think of any useful questions. This is your chance. Use it.

Be brave and schmooze. Networking is a big part of why you should attend these things. Yes some people take networking too far by dominating the time of a particular author, agent, editor, or whoever. Don?t do that. Ask a question or two and give someone else a chance (after asking for a card) if others are waiting. But don?t be afraid to step up and ask questions. They will be especially impressed if you?ve done your homework. Ask an author about why they wrote a certain scene a certain way instead of asking, ?So, what do you write?? Often the most valuable networking is done after the day?s classes are over, so don?t be in a hurry to leave if you can help it.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. The instructor has presumably been chosen to teach the class because they know something about the subject. If you have a question, raise your hand and ask. But don?t start giving rambling opinions on what you think about the subject. The other attendees are paying to hear the presenter. Feel free to chat with whoever you want after the class, but usually the schedule is tight enough that there?s barely enough time for legitimate questions as it is.

Do not under any circumstances bring copies of your manuscript to give editors, agents, authors, or whoever will take them. First of all, it is bad form. No one wants to go home with a suitcase full of paper, and if we take one person?s work, everyone wants us to take theirs as well. Second, most conferences schedule one-on-ones just for the purpose of pitching ideas. If you don?t have the chance to attend a one-on-one, send a query to the agent or editor right after the conference thanking them for coming, and pitch your book. Often editors who don?t take un-agented work will make an exception for attendees. Great question to ask for those panels huh?

Just a last thought. Sometimes you?ve spent everything you have on the conference. If so, more power to you. Hopefully it is a good investment. But if you have a little extra cash, consider buying books from an instructor who really helped you out. Most of the time instructors make little or nothing for teaching a class. Agents, editors, and keynote speakers typically make at least enough to cover their travel, but the authors teaching classes are doing it to sell books and spread good will. Say thanks by purchasing a book or two. They?ll appreciate it and you?ll get a signed book which will one day sell for millions on E-Bay.

Things to know as a conference presenter:

You?ve finally made it big enough (or know someone on the organizing committee) to stand in front of the classroom. Now it?s on you not to forget how you got there. If no one gave you a helping hand along the way, you are rare indeed. So how can you pay it forward?

First be friendly and open. Realize that many aspiring writers are scared to approach a ?real author.? If you bury your head in a book or quickly scoot off to the green room, you are doing a disservice to the attendees and to yourself. Make a couple dozen friends and you?ve probably just added a couple dozen people who will buy your books. Look for people to talk to. Don?t sit at the table with all the other authors. Plop down with a bunch of people you don?t know.

Be encouraging to the newbies. The last thing they want to hear is how hard it was for you and how little chance they have of ever succeeding. They want to hear how you overcame rejection and how they can do it too. By all means ask them what they are working on. As a sales manager, I always have to remind my CEOs how much a word of encouragement or a pat on the back from the head of the company means to a sales rep. The same goes for a published author to someone trying to break into the market.

With the exception of a little commercial at the beginning or end of your class, avoid talking about yourself in your classes. People are attending your session to get take away points which they can use in the own writing, publishing, or marketing. It does them no good whatsoever for you to spend twenty minutes telling a funny story about how you and your agent met over lunch at that little deli on 28th street and saw Tom Cruise. On a related note, if you are going to read, it is highly desirable that you read from someone else?s book, and keep it under three minutes. As authors, we want to give examples from our own work and it?s easy to overlook how self-serving it appears to class members.

Don?t dominate panels. You don?t have to answer every question. Take a couple of questions that you feel comfortable answering and pass the mike the others on questions they might be better suited to answer.

Be funny. Can?t stress this one enough. You know the old saying about how people don?t care how much you know until you can make them laugh. That?s not the way it goes? Well it should be. Prepare your lessons with solid take away points and plenty of laughs. Even if you are not a comedian by nature, you?ll find it is extremely easy to make people laugh in an environment where so much is serious. This is especially important if you are lucky enough to be an MC or keynote speaker. If people like you they will buy your books. But be really careful of anything too off color. Humor can turn to offense quite quickly.

Lastly, realize that not everyone has the money to buy your book right now. Bring other handouts: bookmarks, business cards, flyers. The person who takes your bookmark now is the person who buys your book next month. And if you are asked to sign a bookmark, do it with the same enthusiasm you would offer if you were signing a book.

I?m sure I?ve missed a ton of things. So speak up. What has worked for you? Or what questions do you have?

It's Not About Falling . . . It's About Getting Up

Unfortunately Lisa got sick on Friday so it looks like I won?t be able to post her answers to your questions until at least Monday, but today I thought I?d talk about something every writer deals with. I know what you?re thinking. If you?ve been writing very long at all, you?ve been told many times that a writer has to have a thick skin so they can deal with the dreaded ?R? word. REJECTION! Rejection is a part of writing. You have to learn to live with it. Those are the mantras you hear at every writing convention.

But nope. I?m not going to talk about rejection. Why? Because I hate rejection. Who doesn?t? We all pretend it?s okay. We say things like, ?Rejection is good for you.? And, ?Each rejection brings you one step closer to getting published.? To me that?s like saying, ?Falling down the stairs is good for you. Each time you fall down you get closer to reaching the top.? Does that make sense to you? If someone gave you that advice as you started to climb a staircase would you take it? If so, remind me not to stand behind you.

What I want to write about is not getting rejected, but succeeding. Let?s say you wanted to ask a girl to go out on a date. (If you are a girl feel free to replace girl with boy.) You?ve talked to all the other girls and this is the one for you. She?s funny, smart, attractive. She can hit a 3-2 curveball, bowl 217, and she loves the Lord of the Rings movies. This is the one.

You walk up to her and say, ?Hello, would you like to go to a movie with me Saturday night??

She looks you over, wipes a crumb of egg salad sandwich from your chin, and says, ?Sorry. I?m going bowling with my family that night.?

Conventional rejection wisdom says you should nod stoically, square your shoulders, and say, ?I understand.? Then walk away and find someone else to ask out. After all, she?s a busy girl. She probably wasn?t a good match for you. Getting turned down will make you stronger. Learn from it. Next time check your face for crumbs. Work on a better pitch. Besides rejection brings you one step closer to getting accepted. Go home and eat a candy bar. Get enough sugar into your system and soon you?ll feel better.

I hope that sounds like total bunk to you. Wouldn?t you check to see if Saturday was better? If she was that great wouldn?t you at least put up a fight? If not, maybe you didn?t deserve her after all.

Let me tell you a little secret about getting published. It?s not about how many times you get rejected. It?s about how persistent you are. I don?t know the details of Obert Skye. But I can tell you Brandon Dorman had the first book he submitted to Shadow Mountain rejected. James Dashner had the first two books he submitted to Shadow Mountain rejected. I initially had Farworld rejected. That?s three out of four Shadow Mountain fantasy authors rejected.

What did Brandon Dorman do? He asked Chris Schoebinger what kind of book they?d like to publish. What did James Dashner do? He scheduled a lunch to discuss book ideas, but decided to write a synopsis and three chapters to send Chris and Lisa before the lunch. What did I do? I e-mailed Chris and Lisa and called them, to understand why they rejected Farworld and to see how I could get the issue resolved. Now rejection proponents might say we succeeded because we were rejected. I say we succeeded because we were persistent.

I received an e-mail from a very good author friend of mine who lives in Houston. She?s just received a rejection from Shadow Mountain last week. Typically when I get rejection messages, they are very depressing. Understandably, the authors are hurt, they feel lousy, they want to quit. Often chocolate is a major topic of discussion. But let me tell you what my friend asked in her e-mail. Turns out she has a 1on1 meeting with Lisa next week at a writers? conference. My friend really liked the feedback Lisa had given her and wanted to know whether James and I would suggest reworking the bad parts of the book between now and then, or coming up with more ideas. She really felt SM would benefit from what she had to offer and was looking for the best way to convince them of that.

Here is my answer to her. First of all, you totally rock! I am so dang proud of you. Not only are you a great writer, but you also believe so completely in yourself that giving up was never an option. I would recommend you do both. Rethink your rejected story, so you can discuss how you would fix it if Lisa is open to that. But also come prepared with a handful of ideas for other stories. You?ve got fifteen minutes to get an editor at an awesome publisher excited about what you have to offer, so go in with both barrels loaded. True you only have a couple of days until the conference, but making a good impression on someone like Lisa is what it?s all about. Find the time.

Last year at this time, I was at the same conference. Back then, Lisa was in the middle of reading my manuscript. I honestly was too scared to talk to her, but James, who is the ultimate brown-noser, made me go over. I actually had a close call where I nearly sat at Lisa?s table wearing my wife?s name badge, but thanks to a helpful tip from a fellow attendee, I averted if not disaster, then at least serious embarrassment. I?ll admit I wasn?t sure what to think when Lisa started off our conversations with things she thought I should fix in my book. But I did fix those things, she passed it on to Chris, and ultimately I got invited to lunch with them (which is a pretty funny story in and of itself.)

How many times has persistence paid off in my life? Well my literary agent rejected me twice before taking me on. My wife totally blew off my first date request. In fact she told me she?d call me back with a day that would work, and I didn?t hear from her for over a year. The publisher of my previous books told me she was sure Shadow Mountain had no interest in Farworld. I?ve probably rewritten this book easily ten to fifteen times, and I?m still making minor tweaks.

There?s a poem called ?The Race,? that says something to the effect of, ?It?s how many times you fall. It?s how many times you get up.? I don?t believe in falling down the stairs. I believe in getting to the top. If I could get there on my first try, I?d do it. If I fall, I?m going to be ticked off about it. But I?m not going to sit there and cry. I?m going to try again, and again, and again.
My good friend?s name is Tami. I tell you that because I want you to watch Shadow Mountain?s coming releases. I don?t know when it will happen, but I have every confidence that in the not too distant future you will see her name as one of their authors.

Another Book Beginning Thread

Yesterday we talked about ways to alienate your readers (and your potential agent or editor) with the beginning of your book. As Becky pointed out, you can find writers who break every one of those rules and still get published. In fact, my first little regional book to get published started with a full chapter of flowery description and flashback. The thing is, it got published despite those things not because of them. And I can?t tell you how many people said, ?I loved your book! It sure picked up after the first couple of chapters.? Ugh! Not what you want to hear from your readers.

I?m sure there are some amazing books out there that start with a dreamed flashback where the protagonist cries over a flowery description of her recently dead lover. And if you?re good enough to pull that off, feel free to write in your acknowledgements, ?See Savage, you don?t know anything. So, hah!?

But assuming those really are bad ways to start your novel, let?s focus on ways that will hook your reader from the beginning. Like yesterday, I don?t expect anything I say here to be a huge new flash to you, but they definitely would have helped me back in the day, and they are still good reminders even now.

First of all, let me start with what I consider to be the one of the most important things to any storywriter. This comes from the world of cinema.

Enter the scene late and leave it early.

What does that mean? Essentially it refers to the fact that beginning writers generally want to start their books before they should. Let?s say your first chapter will have a man and woman arguing about the custody of their child. It will climax with the wife saying she wants a divorce and the husband shooting at her in a drunken stupor. Cool scene right?

As the author, I want to tell the ?whole? story. I don?t want my reader to be confused. So I begin with the wife waiting angrily by the door, looking out the window for her husband who is late again. I describe the room so you can see that they are financially well off. I show the pictures of their three-year-old growing up. I might have her remember how things used to be. (Or maybe a foreshadowing of how she is married to an ex-cop who still carries his gun) Finally the car pulls up. The husband staggers to the door, she opens it and shouts, ?You?re late! Again!?

Are any warning bells going off in your head here? If not, go back and reread yesterday?s post. Is there any immediacy here? Is the reader quickly pulled into the scene?

How about this?

?You?re late!? Marlene shouted throwing open the door. ?Although I don?t know why I even care anymore.?

Leaning slightly to one side, as though someone had cut an inch off the bottom of his right shoe, Norman blinked woodenly. Then something seemed to catch fire in his eyes and he shoved past his wife of seventeen years. ?Don?t ?magine I missed dinner,? he said with a slur Marlene had become used to.

See how we just jump right into the scene? The cool thing is that if we give the reader a few clues, they will fill in much of the boring background for us. Marlene?s first sentence tells us her mood, the probable time of day (or in this case night), and quite a bit about their relationship.

Her second sentence let?s the reader know this isn?t the first time Norman has been late, and the first sentence of the second paragraph tells us why. This is called implied history. By stating a few facts, the reader knows what has happened before without us telling them.

If I have thirteen-year-old Jordan eye the lockers of his new school and decide there is plenty of room for him inside. What does that tell you about his old school?

I could go even further in the scene above and start with something like this.

Norman staggered backward, his palm going to the bright red hand print on the side of his face. For a moment he seemed stunned that Marlene would actually strike him. A woman didn?t do that to a man?not ever. A woman needed to know her place. Then his hand went to the inside of his jacket and he was gratified to see the woman he?d been chained to for the past thirteen years back away. His fingers closed around the cold metal of the forty-five in his shoulder holster. She?d made a mistake. Quite possibly her last one.

It?s true that the reader may feel a little confused at first. Why did she hit him? Did he deserve it? But the story grabs our interest, just like overhearing a snatch of an interesting conversation between the unknown couple sitting in the booth behind us at a restaurant. Entering the scene late grabs us right away. Leaving it early makes us want to read on. I could end the chapter with him shooting wildly at her, them struggling, her calling the police. Or I could end it with him pulling the gun. Then I could start the next chapter with her boss wondering why she is late for work. Is she dead? Maybe. Or maybe something else happened. Would you keep reading?

Typically writing instructors say that you should start where the action begins. I agree and disagree with that. As we discussed on the MICE post, there is almost always more than one storyline. Which action should you begin with? It doesn?t necessarily have to be the life changing moment of the main storyline. In fact often that jumps into the story at the wrong point.

In Farworld Water, I begin with a scene where a group of boys are waiting to beat up the protagonist. I did this for a couple of reasons. The main storyline would require unearned emotion. I want you to empathize with my first protagonist (there are two) before we plunge him into the main story. And I want you to see early on that my story will involve magic. So I begin with a scene that tells us a lot of Marcus?s history and hints at what may come next. So at least consider what storyline to begin with.

What kind of hooks grab the reader most easily?

Action, action, action

Readers of all ages love action. Do you remember the first time you saw your first Indiana Jones movie. The darts flying, the spears with the skull, the giant ball rolling. I didn?t take a single bit of my popcorn during that entire scene. One of the best ways to hook a reader early is with an action scene that puts someone in jeopardy. Even better if the person in peril is a woman or a child, because readers root for them right away.

The Explosive Beginning

While this could be action, it doesn?t have to be. Essentially it is starting with something so compelling that you have to read more. An example of that above would be the man reaching for his gun after the woman has slapped him.

Unexpected dialog

Snappy dialog is always a good way to grab the readers attention. Just make sure whatever they are talking about is interesting. Boring is bad. Repeat that ten times. If you opened the first page of a book and read, ?Someone?s trying to kill me,? would you read at least a couple of lines more?

What did you just say?

I have a really fun urban fantasy I will finish one day that starts with this line. ?The problem with human heads is they always turn up in the most inconvenient places.? Would you read more? The idea here is that you starting with something so unexpected and compelling you must read more. Dean Koontz is the king of this method.

Creating a bond to one or more characters

Make me care about the character right away. Often this is done through internal monologue. I once started a book like this.

?They say the human subconscious is capable of picking up hidden danger signals long before the conscious mind is aware that anything?s wrong. The senses tingle. The small hairs on the back of the neck stand. Adrenaline races through the body. It?s supposed to be a holdover from the times when having a bad day meant ending up inside a sabertooth?s belly.

Well, maybe I?m just not in touch with my inner cavewoman. Or maybe my receiver was on the fritz that day. Whatever the case, I don?t remember feeling any sense of peril, no premonitions of impending doom, as I reached the top of the rise revealing the house on the hillside.?

Do you like her? Would you read more?

Finally, keep it short and sweet?cut, cut, cut

Details are great, especially if they create a mood. But don?t dawdle. Grab my interest and hold on like you?re gripping a tiger by the tail. If you can hold me for the whole first chapter, I?m willing to cut you a break farther in. But if you lose me on the first page, don?t expect me to come back.

Well that?s it, gang. We did a week of blogs straight. Hopefully it was fun for you. I know it was for me. I?m going to take a break over the weekend. Okay, actually I starting Farworld book two. On Monday I want to talk a little bit about promotion. I have a YA fantasy I?m sending out into a world teeming with YA fantasy. How can I possibly hope to stay afloat? Even more importantly, how can I stand out? Also I have a fun new poll. And a hint about how you can get your hands on an advanced reader copy of Book One.

Beginnings, and Prologues, and Talking Bears . . .Oh My

Wow, great thoughts on villains everyone. Mostly, I try to remember that villain is spelled ?ai? and not ?ia.? Button eyes, though. Now that is creepy. I thought Stephen King?s recurring villain, Randall Flagg was pretty creepy. As far as Disney villains, Ursula was pretty nasty with her pet eels. Anyone remember their names without Googling?

Also, thanks for dropping by Queen of Chaos, Becky, and Onelowerlight. Love your sites. And Becky, I have no idea how you keep up with so many BLOGS.

Okay, so I promised that today we?d talk about beginnings, prologues, and talking animals. Let?s see, always begin your prologue with an animal that talks. Thank you folks, you?ve been a great audience. Please don?t forget to tip the hat girl on your way out, and remember, we?re here six nights a week.

No? Oh, alright then. Eeenie, meenie, minnie, moe. Let?s start with beginnings. The goal of your first sentence is to do one thing. Can you guess? To get the reader to read the second sentence. That?s the main goal of the beginning of your story, to keep the reader reading. If they shut the book, anything else you might want to accomplish is impossible. Did you know that agents and editors don?t make it past the first page of most manuscripts? If you don?t hook the reader in those first few lines, you are out of luck.

The problem is that the best ways to hook the reader are often the beginnings that come least easily to most writers. And the ways we tend to want to start our books our often the ways the turn off an agent, editor, and reader. So let?s begin by examining a few ways not to start your book.

Flashback/Foreshadowing


Jane remembered the first time she?d sat on this very rock. It was the day after Michael left. She remembered the wind had been blowing cold, and her face had been raw and chapped by the tears she?d shed over the last few days. Mary had arrived holding the handle of her unusual umbrella. But all Jane wanted to do was curl up in a ball, drink some lime cordial, and . . .

Or

Little did Mickey realize as he headed to the laboratory that only an hour later he would be fighting for his life with a giant but deadly mop.


First of all, why are so many authors drawn to the flashback? I think it?s because inside they realize where the story needs to begin, but they feel they absolutely must provide the reader with all of the background information necessary to ?appreciate? the story. Wrong. What the reader wants is immediacy. What is more interesting? A car chase happening right outside your window at this very moment, or someone recounting a chase that happened years before? To capture the reader?s attention, you must engage them. To engage them, you must catch their interest right now.

I?m not saying you can?t use flashbacks in your story. But not at the beginning. Even then, any time you are tempted to use a flashback, ask yourself if it is essential to the story or if the background information can be conveyed via implied history, dialog, or internal monologue.

Heavy handed foreshadowing is nearly as bad. You can accomplish the same thing in the sentence above, by saying, ?Mickey was sure he would be in and out of the laboratory in thirty minutes, an hour tops.? This isn?t nearly as intrusive and heavy handed, but the reader will still jump to the conclusion that for some reason Mickey is going to run into trouble.

Dream


?Now I have you!? the ogre shouted, placing his spear tip against Mickey?s throat. Mickey, tried to pull away, but the flint cut cruelly into his furry flesh, drawing blood. Mickey knew he had only one chance. He needed his wand. It was less than a foot away, but before he could think of a scheme to reach it, the ogre sneered.


?Too late, Sorcerer. Now you will taste death.? The ogre rammed the spear into Mickey?s throat. Mickey coughed out a red spray?which coincidentally matched his outfit?as his life bled onto the ground. It was finished. He was dead.


Mickey jerked awake with a moan. ?Oh, boy!? he cried in his squeaky voice. ?What a dream.?

The first two paragraphs are exciting right? (Okay, also a little gratuitously gory.) They are definitely immediate. The problem is the third paragraph. Again, the writer is trying to use a trick or gimmick to hook the reader. Typically because inside they know their beginning is not as exciting as it should be. Often the writer uses a dream sequence to hook the header before finding out the protagonist is actually daydreaming at his desk or waking up to go to school. Yawn!

The problem is, readers don?t like to be tricked. Nothing pulls the reader out of a story more quickly than realizing the author used a gimmick to get their attention. Agents and editors will drop a manuscript as soon as they see it is starting with a dream. This is a big no-no.

Killing off a character too early


?Can I get you a cup of coffee??


?Certainly,? replied Jane. ?With a little cream if you have it.?


?Of course.? As Tarzan started toward the kitchen, the jealous hunter stepped into the living room and began to spray bullets. Tarzan crumpled to the ground, dead.


Okay, now this is exciting. It?s immediate. It?s not exactly a trick. So what doesn?t work with this beginning? The reader doesn?t care. I don?t know who Tarzan is, other than the fact that he seems to make a good cup of coffee. To the author this may be a poignant scene worthy of many tears. But that?s because they know that Tarzan is a hunky, leopard-skin-wearing swinger who protects little kids from bullies and donates his spare time knitting vine sweaters for less fortunate seniors. The author is crying buckets as they peck out this sad, sad beginning.

But since the author didn?t take time to let us meet Tarzan first?and hopefully come to like him?they?re shaking their heads and going, ?Huh. Wonder what that was all about?? It doesn?t take much, maybe only a page or so, but you have to make the reader care about a main character whom you are going to kill off at the beginning of the book. If the point is to just kill off some place holder, you might be able to get away with it, but even then it?s better if you can create a connection in some other way (tension, humor, action, etc.)

Sticking with the emotion theme, the next way to wreck a good beginning is with . . .

Unearned emotions


?Why?? Jasmine wailed, pounding her fists against the useless lamp. Hot tears dripped down her cheeks as she gnashed her teeth. It was so unfair!


?Why did he have to die?? She?d loved him so much?more than life itself. He was everything to her. Her little street rat. And now he was gone. Stabbed by a maniacal street vendor. She pressed her face against her silk pillow and wept until she finally fell asleep and dreamed about an ogre and a white-gloved rodent.

Can you guess what?s wrong with this beginning? I?ll give you a hint. It?s a lot like the problem with the last one. You haven?t earned the care of the reader yet. Again, you are relying on what you, the author, know about Jasmine?s situation. Because you know what?s happening here, the scene tugs at your heart. But to the reader, Jasmine is a whinny, snot-nosed, cry baby. If you want the reader to feel the pain of your protagonist, you have to earn it by creating a bond between reader and character.

Last, and perhaps most despicable, is . . .

Flowery descriptions


It was a warm day for early spring, and the smell of jasmine floated on the slightly damp air?the flower, not the spoiled princess. Everywhere Aurora looked, signs of life abounded. Red throated warblers warbled, sprouts sprouted, fuzzy little bunnies . . . did whatever it was bunnies do. The sun peeked down from between the branches of the aspens and maples. It was a wonderful day to be alive. If only she could find a prince to help her celebrate her sixteenth birthday.

If you don?t know what?s wrong with this scene, you haven?t been listening. Is it exciting? Is it immediate? Does it make the reader go, ?Yowza! I can?t wait to see what happens next!? If it does, this is not a reader you want to invite to your next party. As a writer you often begin with the scene inside your head. That?s why stories begin with things like, ?It was a dark and stormy night.? Scenes are cool and they add a ton of value, but very seldom are they the way to hook your reader.

Next we?ll talk about how to create good beginnings. But since this blog is getting pretty long and I promised I?d cover two more things, we?ll save good beginnings for tomorrow.

Prologues

This is almost as dicey a subject as my anti-SASE stance, which always gets me in trouble with other authors, but I?ll forge ahead at my own risk. Prologues are cool. One of the neatest things about them is that you can use any point of view, any tense, and start anywhere. The prologue is like a separate piece of the book that doesn?t have to follow the same rules.

However, there are two problems with prologues. While good readers?which means everyone who would read this blog?read prologues, many readers don?t. They see prologue and read ?optional.? This is especially bad because authors often use prologues for one or both of two reasons. Chapter one is boring, so they start with an exciting prologue or key information needs to be given to the reader that doesn?t fit well into the rest of the story. Maybe it is an event that happened hundreds of years before. Maybe it is a scene the protagonist isn?t there to witness.

If this is the case, there are two choices you can make as the author. Either you write a prologue anyway, and say ?Skip it at your own risk.? Or you write the story in such a way that the prologue is not necessary. Don?t like either of those choices? That?s okay neither do I. Which is why I opt for a third choice.

Write the prologue, but call it chapter one.

Finally we come to talking animals. Who doesn?t like talking animals? Without talking animals we wouldn?t have Mickey Mouse, Big Bird, or Thomas the Tank Engine. Okay he?s not really an animal, but you get my point.

Talking animals are cool. Dr. Doolittle thought so and so do I. In fact one my favorite characters in my book is a horse that tells really corny jokes like, ?Knock, knock.? ?Who?s there?? ?Dishes.? ?Dishes, who?? ?Dishes the coldest it?s been in weeks.?

It?s okay, go ahead and groan. I won?t be offended . . . much. Treat your talking animals the same way you would with talking people. Make sure that their attitudes, speech patterns, and motivations are different enough that people could tell them apart even if you couldn?t use speech tags.


So there you have it. Don?t kill off your characters too soon. Do include talking animals. And include prologues at your own risk. See you tomorrow.

Are Their MICE in Your Stories?

Great new questions everyone. Beginnings, talking animals, prologues. Lots of fun stuff to discuss. Since I recently wrote an article about where each type of storyline begins, I thought I'd post some of it here. Be aware that this is not answeing Melinda's question exactly. But you kind of need to know about the beginnings and endings of storylines before you try and figure out where to start your book. So we'll do this today and do prologues, the beginning of the actual book, and of course talking animals tomorrow. And by the way, great feedback on villians everyone. It really makes doing this blog fun when everone chips in. So who is your favorite villian of all time?

A lot of times writers are unclear on where their novel should start and end. I don?t mean the first paragraph or page per se. That?s really more of a choice of what will hook the reader. What I?m talking about is the point of focus of the novel in which the story itself actually begins. I?ll be discussing this in more detail at the Storymakers conference, but here is a brief example of what I am talking about.

A good novel should usually have at least three storylines. Too many storylines, and you risk losing the reader?s focus. Too few and you go from a novel to a tale. Each storyline must start and stop at the proper point, in order to give your novel a good flow.

Orson Scott Card divides stories into four types, which he calls the MICE quotient. Stories can either be milieu (place driven), idea driven, character driven, or event driven.

A good example of a milieu driven story is Lord of the Rings. In a place driven story, the story is about exploring a place unfamiliar to the main character. The story begins with the discovery of the new world and ends with the wrap-up of the world. People who complained the third LOTR movie had too many endings didn?t understand that the story was not about the ring. Therefore it didn?t end with the ring?s destruction. It didn?t end with Frodo returning home, because it wasn?t about him. It was about the world, which is why we needed to find out everything that happened to the world.

An idea driven story is a story that revolves around a problem. In a mystery, a person may be killed. The story ends when the killer is caught, killed, escapes, or in some way leaves the story. Idea stories typically have lots of false turns and red herrings. Characters may be minimally fleshed out.

Romances are a great example of character driven stories. The character driven story begins when the protagonist finds his or her lot in life unbearable (bad husband, no husband, dull job, etc.) It ends when the protagonist either changes her life or comes to realize she is actually okay with their life.

Event driven stories are stories where the ?world? is out of order. It begins when the main character tries to find a cure. It ends when the goal is achieved or when the character fails. The event can take many forms: a usurper, a betrayal of trust, or a crime unpunished.

By analyzing what type of story you have written, you will find it easy to locate the correct beginning and end.

Let?s use this tool to break down the first Harry Potter book.

Is there a problem Harry must solve? Yes it is the potential theft of the Sorcerer Stone. Who is trying to steal it and will HP and friends solve the mystery? It?s possible then, that HP1 could be an idea driven book. Except that the book does not begin or end with the mystery.

Moving on to milieu. Does the main character discover a new world? Obviously. A major part of the story is Harry discovering the world of magic. By seeing it through the eyes of a person who has never seen magic, we get to experience his delight as well. So HP1 could be a milieu. He does discover the world of magic before the issue involving the Sorcerer?s Stone, and he leaves the world after. So it could be a place story. But wait there?s more.

How about event? In almost every HP book, the world of magic and the world in general are in danger. In particular, Hogwarts itself is in danger of being shut down by one thing or another. And after Harry resolves the conflict, we learn that?for the moment, at least?Hogwarts is safe. Event? Maybe, but . . .

What every HP book starts and ends with is Harry being unhappy with his state in life. He is living in a closet, he doesn?t hear from his friends, he is possibly going to get kicked out, he has lost a loved one. And what is the last thing that happens in every book? Harry comes to settle with his current lot in life. By examining each of the storylines in HP 1, we determine that while there are elements of all story types (which is one of the things that gives the HP series such universal appeal), ultimately HP is a character driven story.

All of the above being said, you don?t have to start with the beginning of the main storyline?although you?ll almost always finish with it. It?s very common to start with a secondary story line. Tomorrow I will talk about the actual start of the book itself, including the pros and cons of using prologues. In the mean time take a look at your novel (or novel in progress and try to determine how many and what type of storylines you have going on)

Q&A #3

Keep them coming Anna. I've got four more days to go!

Q: Got any advice on how to write really awesome villains? They are so hard! The one I have now also has a pretty dumb name. I think my plot is improving though, and the over the past couple of weeks I somehow came up with some really good plot twists. Surprising, but I did.

A: Keep working on that plot. Remember, it's easier to go back and edit later, than to get the momentum back if you stop and rewrite all the time.

The key to good villains is giving them real motivations. Just like your hero needs a noble quest, your bad needs a reason for being bad, other than that he/she is evil. For example, in the first chapter of Farworld, I have a dark wizard named Bonesplinter. He is going to meet with the head of The Dark Circle. In the first draft I had him simply be scared of the Master. But in rewrites he turned into a power hungry schemer. Even while he is groveling before the Master, he is thinking about what he would do with that kind of power. By adding more depth to him, it makes him more real and gives me options down the road.

The other thing to think about?especially in a fantasy series?is the hierarchy of bad guys. If I start with the top bad guy in the first book, where do I go from there? As my hero/s become stronger, I want my bad guys to become worse, so I need to use balance and restraint in the first book.

Another thing to consider is language. I am writing a YA novel so I don?t want my bad guy to be cursing up a storm. But I do want the reader to get how bad he is. So I use imagery in his language that makes you go, ?Oh, this guy is creepy.?

For example:

Marcus says, ?What are you going to do to me??

Bonesplinter answers, ?I?d like to spend a little time getting to know you. I?d like to study you like a fine watch and see what makes you tick.?

And later

?Unfortunately,? Bonesplinter whispered, ?it?s not up to me. It won?t be long before the others come looking for you, and my orders are quite clear. I?m afraid, little bird, that you won?t be returning to your nest.?

See, I don?t use bad language, but the reader hopefully will get that this is a bad dude.

So what do you like to see in your villains?

Tools of the Trade

Nothing super new and cool on the book front this morning. I did make a slight modification to the very ending. (Thanks Kerry for your sound advice!) And I also discovered I had a minor character with almost the identical name as a main character for a popular fantasy novel I hadn?t yet read but started this week. Which is really a strange coincidence. What are the odds that two people on their own naming characters Raodin and Raoden? Anyway, that has also been changed. Oh, and I also gave my editor a list of scenes that I thought would make great inside illustrations. But more on that in a later blog.

Instead of talking about the book today, I?d like to talk about writing. In particular three tools of the trade I use a lot. So if writing isn?t your thing, and you don?t like to peek behind the curtain of what goes on in the creation of a book, you may want to Google ?real estate investing? or ?Brittney?s babies? or something. That will keep you busy for at least the rest of the day?maybe the rest of the year.

In Stephen King?s great book, ?On Writing,? he describes a toolbox every good writer should carry. You may not need every tool every time you write, but it?s great to have them when you need them. Some tools you use more than others. For me, my Phillips screwdriver, pliers, and hammer are isolation, disorientation, and misdirection.

These are the tools I break out when I want to raise the tension in one of my novels. They are often the key components of a thriller, but as you?ll see, they are just as important in other genres as well.

First of all, let?s take a look at how these tools fit into the toolbox as a whole. In any story with a plot (so really anything other than hardcore literary fiction, which according to Scott Card is just another genre) your main character must have a goal. Preferably a noble goal, so the readers will root for them, but that is not a hard and fast requirement. Second, your reader must care about your protagonist. Third, there must be some kind of negative consequence if the protagonist does not accomplish their goal.

Pretty basic stuff right? In order to save the townspeople, Sir Coughalot must duel the dragon, find the cup, and return it to the palace before the plague of bad breath is complete. I?m not sure how much we?d like a hero named Sir Coughalot. And his quest seems a little boring. But it?ll work for an example.

The problem is, Sir Coughalot is a knight, and we all know knights slay dragons every day. Also, he probably has a squire and bunch of friends with swords and shields. So we lay down the book with a yawn and say, ?Ho hum. Maybe there?s something good on TV.? That is an author?s nightmare. I can?t have you laying down my book to run off and see who makes it to the next round of American Idol. Even if the cute kid with the weird hair sings just like Freddie Mercury.

In order to keep you hooked, I need to raise the stakes a little. I need to pull you into my web of fiction. (Wow, that sounded kind of cool. We need an author superhero who catches guys in his web of fiction. ?Stand back, evil nemesis. I have a historical romance and I know how to use it.?)

Anyway, back to raising the stakes. One of the easiest ways to make you care about my character is by taking away his or her supports. In our story about Sir Coughalot, I need to get him away from his co-knights, and maybe even his squire. It?s used a ton, but there is a reason so many fantasy novels start with an orphaned child. What is more vulnerable than a baby left on a doorstep? Of course it works even better if the baby is left on the doorstep of a family that is mean to him and makes him sleep under the stairs while his mean older cousin gets two rooms to himself.

There are books which do not use this tool. For example my friend James Dashner has a novel called ?The 13th Reality coming out next month in which the boy goes on his adventure with his father.? But even then, James uses the tool. He makes sure the dad is more like a big kid. Dad does not step in and save the day at every turn. So what we really have is more like a sidekick than a true parent figure. In Lord of the Rings Samwise stays with Frodo, but the rest of the fellowship can not come. It?s handled very skillfully, but in truth it?s just a tool to further isolate the protagonist. (Of course the first isolation is when Gandalf leaves.)

Okay so in our story, we could have everyone else be afraid of the dragon. But that?s pretty clich� (like the rest of the story isn?t, right?) So instead let?s say that the cup is rumored to turn anyone who sees it into a stick of gum. That should scare away all the other knights. The squire stays on, but he?s never been all that bright. And besides, he likes gum. We have now used isolation to up the ante.

Our next tool is disorientation. Let?s go back to our hypothetical misfit living under the stairs with a mean family and a bully cousin. His life is pretty miserable, and he certainly doesn?t have any friends, but at least he is used to it. In order to really create some interest on the part of the reader, we need to raise the stakes again. We need our readers to not only like our protagonist, but to actually begin the process of putting themselves in his place. A cool way to do that is to put the protagonist into a world he is unfamiliar with. And so much the better if the reader is unfamiliar with the world as well.

Because this is a blog for a fantasy novel, let me point out that when I say world, I am not specifically referring to another planet. It could be the world of high finance. It could be the country mouse going to the city. It could be that 99.9% of everyone on Earth dies. All it requires is that the protagonist finds herself in a place that throws her off balance. This is why Harry Potter goes to Hogwarts. It?s why Frodo leaves the Shire. It?s why Prince Raoden is thrown into Elantris. It?s why Luke Skywalker ends up in a swamp with a little green Muppet.

Let me use another example from a movie my younger readers may not be as familiar with. In the movie Jaws, the protagonist must stop a great white shark from munching its way through an entire town of tourists. We isolate him by turning the townspeople against him. Then we disorient him but making him afraid of what? Water, of course! Then we put him out on a boat with a crazy captain.

The other great thing about putting our protagonist into a new world is that we, the readers, get to discover the world right along with him?wondering over the flying brooms and laughing at the missing stair riser. Of course when they get to their new world, they might start making friends again, lessening the isolation. But there are plenty of ways to turn the people in the new world against them as well, right? So let?s send our knight to a land where dragons live in peaceful villages and knights are the ones that attack and terrify. And just for fun, let?s make the dragons people size and the bad knights huge terrifying creatures. That puts our little knight right in the thick of it.

Last but not least is misdirection. Going back to Harry, I mean our hypothetical misfit, how do we make sure the reader doesn?t guess who Voldemort is? This is a slight problem because the obvious choice would be the new teacher right? (Yes this is a spoiler, but if you haven?t even read the first HP book, what are you doing on a fantasy blog in the first place?) Okay, so we need the reader to completely discount Professor Quirrell. How do we pull it off? Misdirection. Get the reader to make an assumption which will keep them looking the wrong way.

In this case, JK Rowling introduces Professor Quirrell early in the story as a nervous little man who is overcome with wonder at meeting the great Harry Potter. This does two things. First, it makes the reader create a mental image of Quirrell as someone so non-threatening we can?t even consider him as a suspect. Second, she makes the introduction just as we are entering the world of magic. She distracts us with all the cool other things so we don?t have time to consider why she took all that time to introduce a character of such little importance so completely.

Of course the second part of misdirection is giving the reader an alternate target to focus on. If only JK Rowling could have come up with a slimy, mean, back stabbing type of character that skulks around the school. Someone who surely has it in for Harry. Oh wait. She did! Snape was the target she wanted us to focus on while Quirrell worked quietly in the background. Of course it turns out that Snape was even more misdirection for future novels.

To wrap up our story of Sir Coughalot, we could have the squire actually be a bad guy all along. He could be just waiting for his chance to turn our poor knight into a package of Hubba Bubba and steal the cup for himself.

So there you have it. Isolation, disorientation, and misdirection. Fun tools. Powerful tools. But use them carefully. You wouldn?t want to put out an eye.