Another Book Beginning Thread

Yesterday we talked about ways to alienate your readers (and your potential agent or editor) with the beginning of your book. As Becky pointed out, you can find writers who break every one of those rules and still get published. In fact, my first little regional book to get published started with a full chapter of flowery description and flashback. The thing is, it got published despite those things not because of them. And I can?t tell you how many people said, ?I loved your book! It sure picked up after the first couple of chapters.? Ugh! Not what you want to hear from your readers.

I?m sure there are some amazing books out there that start with a dreamed flashback where the protagonist cries over a flowery description of her recently dead lover. And if you?re good enough to pull that off, feel free to write in your acknowledgements, ?See Savage, you don?t know anything. So, hah!?

But assuming those really are bad ways to start your novel, let?s focus on ways that will hook your reader from the beginning. Like yesterday, I don?t expect anything I say here to be a huge new flash to you, but they definitely would have helped me back in the day, and they are still good reminders even now.

First of all, let me start with what I consider to be the one of the most important things to any storywriter. This comes from the world of cinema.

Enter the scene late and leave it early.

What does that mean? Essentially it refers to the fact that beginning writers generally want to start their books before they should. Let?s say your first chapter will have a man and woman arguing about the custody of their child. It will climax with the wife saying she wants a divorce and the husband shooting at her in a drunken stupor. Cool scene right?

As the author, I want to tell the ?whole? story. I don?t want my reader to be confused. So I begin with the wife waiting angrily by the door, looking out the window for her husband who is late again. I describe the room so you can see that they are financially well off. I show the pictures of their three-year-old growing up. I might have her remember how things used to be. (Or maybe a foreshadowing of how she is married to an ex-cop who still carries his gun) Finally the car pulls up. The husband staggers to the door, she opens it and shouts, ?You?re late! Again!?

Are any warning bells going off in your head here? If not, go back and reread yesterday?s post. Is there any immediacy here? Is the reader quickly pulled into the scene?

How about this?

?You?re late!? Marlene shouted throwing open the door. ?Although I don?t know why I even care anymore.?

Leaning slightly to one side, as though someone had cut an inch off the bottom of his right shoe, Norman blinked woodenly. Then something seemed to catch fire in his eyes and he shoved past his wife of seventeen years. ?Don?t ?magine I missed dinner,? he said with a slur Marlene had become used to.

See how we just jump right into the scene? The cool thing is that if we give the reader a few clues, they will fill in much of the boring background for us. Marlene?s first sentence tells us her mood, the probable time of day (or in this case night), and quite a bit about their relationship.

Her second sentence let?s the reader know this isn?t the first time Norman has been late, and the first sentence of the second paragraph tells us why. This is called implied history. By stating a few facts, the reader knows what has happened before without us telling them.

If I have thirteen-year-old Jordan eye the lockers of his new school and decide there is plenty of room for him inside. What does that tell you about his old school?

I could go even further in the scene above and start with something like this.

Norman staggered backward, his palm going to the bright red hand print on the side of his face. For a moment he seemed stunned that Marlene would actually strike him. A woman didn?t do that to a man?not ever. A woman needed to know her place. Then his hand went to the inside of his jacket and he was gratified to see the woman he?d been chained to for the past thirteen years back away. His fingers closed around the cold metal of the forty-five in his shoulder holster. She?d made a mistake. Quite possibly her last one.

It?s true that the reader may feel a little confused at first. Why did she hit him? Did he deserve it? But the story grabs our interest, just like overhearing a snatch of an interesting conversation between the unknown couple sitting in the booth behind us at a restaurant. Entering the scene late grabs us right away. Leaving it early makes us want to read on. I could end the chapter with him shooting wildly at her, them struggling, her calling the police. Or I could end it with him pulling the gun. Then I could start the next chapter with her boss wondering why she is late for work. Is she dead? Maybe. Or maybe something else happened. Would you keep reading?

Typically writing instructors say that you should start where the action begins. I agree and disagree with that. As we discussed on the MICE post, there is almost always more than one storyline. Which action should you begin with? It doesn?t necessarily have to be the life changing moment of the main storyline. In fact often that jumps into the story at the wrong point.

In Farworld Water, I begin with a scene where a group of boys are waiting to beat up the protagonist. I did this for a couple of reasons. The main storyline would require unearned emotion. I want you to empathize with my first protagonist (there are two) before we plunge him into the main story. And I want you to see early on that my story will involve magic. So I begin with a scene that tells us a lot of Marcus?s history and hints at what may come next. So at least consider what storyline to begin with.

What kind of hooks grab the reader most easily?

Action, action, action

Readers of all ages love action. Do you remember the first time you saw your first Indiana Jones movie. The darts flying, the spears with the skull, the giant ball rolling. I didn?t take a single bit of my popcorn during that entire scene. One of the best ways to hook a reader early is with an action scene that puts someone in jeopardy. Even better if the person in peril is a woman or a child, because readers root for them right away.

The Explosive Beginning

While this could be action, it doesn?t have to be. Essentially it is starting with something so compelling that you have to read more. An example of that above would be the man reaching for his gun after the woman has slapped him.

Unexpected dialog

Snappy dialog is always a good way to grab the readers attention. Just make sure whatever they are talking about is interesting. Boring is bad. Repeat that ten times. If you opened the first page of a book and read, ?Someone?s trying to kill me,? would you read at least a couple of lines more?

What did you just say?

I have a really fun urban fantasy I will finish one day that starts with this line. ?The problem with human heads is they always turn up in the most inconvenient places.? Would you read more? The idea here is that you starting with something so unexpected and compelling you must read more. Dean Koontz is the king of this method.

Creating a bond to one or more characters

Make me care about the character right away. Often this is done through internal monologue. I once started a book like this.

?They say the human subconscious is capable of picking up hidden danger signals long before the conscious mind is aware that anything?s wrong. The senses tingle. The small hairs on the back of the neck stand. Adrenaline races through the body. It?s supposed to be a holdover from the times when having a bad day meant ending up inside a sabertooth?s belly.

Well, maybe I?m just not in touch with my inner cavewoman. Or maybe my receiver was on the fritz that day. Whatever the case, I don?t remember feeling any sense of peril, no premonitions of impending doom, as I reached the top of the rise revealing the house on the hillside.?

Do you like her? Would you read more?

Finally, keep it short and sweet?cut, cut, cut

Details are great, especially if they create a mood. But don?t dawdle. Grab my interest and hold on like you?re gripping a tiger by the tail. If you can hold me for the whole first chapter, I?m willing to cut you a break farther in. But if you lose me on the first page, don?t expect me to come back.

Well that?s it, gang. We did a week of blogs straight. Hopefully it was fun for you. I know it was for me. I?m going to take a break over the weekend. Okay, actually I starting Farworld book two. On Monday I want to talk a little bit about promotion. I have a YA fantasy I?m sending out into a world teeming with YA fantasy. How can I possibly hope to stay afloat? Even more importantly, how can I stand out? Also I have a fun new poll. And a hint about how you can get your hands on an advanced reader copy of Book One.

Beginnings, and Prologues, and Talking Bears . . .Oh My

Wow, great thoughts on villains everyone. Mostly, I try to remember that villain is spelled ?ai? and not ?ia.? Button eyes, though. Now that is creepy. I thought Stephen King?s recurring villain, Randall Flagg was pretty creepy. As far as Disney villains, Ursula was pretty nasty with her pet eels. Anyone remember their names without Googling?

Also, thanks for dropping by Queen of Chaos, Becky, and Onelowerlight. Love your sites. And Becky, I have no idea how you keep up with so many BLOGS.

Okay, so I promised that today we?d talk about beginnings, prologues, and talking animals. Let?s see, always begin your prologue with an animal that talks. Thank you folks, you?ve been a great audience. Please don?t forget to tip the hat girl on your way out, and remember, we?re here six nights a week.

No? Oh, alright then. Eeenie, meenie, minnie, moe. Let?s start with beginnings. The goal of your first sentence is to do one thing. Can you guess? To get the reader to read the second sentence. That?s the main goal of the beginning of your story, to keep the reader reading. If they shut the book, anything else you might want to accomplish is impossible. Did you know that agents and editors don?t make it past the first page of most manuscripts? If you don?t hook the reader in those first few lines, you are out of luck.

The problem is that the best ways to hook the reader are often the beginnings that come least easily to most writers. And the ways we tend to want to start our books our often the ways the turn off an agent, editor, and reader. So let?s begin by examining a few ways not to start your book.

Flashback/Foreshadowing


Jane remembered the first time she?d sat on this very rock. It was the day after Michael left. She remembered the wind had been blowing cold, and her face had been raw and chapped by the tears she?d shed over the last few days. Mary had arrived holding the handle of her unusual umbrella. But all Jane wanted to do was curl up in a ball, drink some lime cordial, and . . .

Or

Little did Mickey realize as he headed to the laboratory that only an hour later he would be fighting for his life with a giant but deadly mop.


First of all, why are so many authors drawn to the flashback? I think it?s because inside they realize where the story needs to begin, but they feel they absolutely must provide the reader with all of the background information necessary to ?appreciate? the story. Wrong. What the reader wants is immediacy. What is more interesting? A car chase happening right outside your window at this very moment, or someone recounting a chase that happened years before? To capture the reader?s attention, you must engage them. To engage them, you must catch their interest right now.

I?m not saying you can?t use flashbacks in your story. But not at the beginning. Even then, any time you are tempted to use a flashback, ask yourself if it is essential to the story or if the background information can be conveyed via implied history, dialog, or internal monologue.

Heavy handed foreshadowing is nearly as bad. You can accomplish the same thing in the sentence above, by saying, ?Mickey was sure he would be in and out of the laboratory in thirty minutes, an hour tops.? This isn?t nearly as intrusive and heavy handed, but the reader will still jump to the conclusion that for some reason Mickey is going to run into trouble.

Dream


?Now I have you!? the ogre shouted, placing his spear tip against Mickey?s throat. Mickey, tried to pull away, but the flint cut cruelly into his furry flesh, drawing blood. Mickey knew he had only one chance. He needed his wand. It was less than a foot away, but before he could think of a scheme to reach it, the ogre sneered.


?Too late, Sorcerer. Now you will taste death.? The ogre rammed the spear into Mickey?s throat. Mickey coughed out a red spray?which coincidentally matched his outfit?as his life bled onto the ground. It was finished. He was dead.


Mickey jerked awake with a moan. ?Oh, boy!? he cried in his squeaky voice. ?What a dream.?

The first two paragraphs are exciting right? (Okay, also a little gratuitously gory.) They are definitely immediate. The problem is the third paragraph. Again, the writer is trying to use a trick or gimmick to hook the reader. Typically because inside they know their beginning is not as exciting as it should be. Often the writer uses a dream sequence to hook the header before finding out the protagonist is actually daydreaming at his desk or waking up to go to school. Yawn!

The problem is, readers don?t like to be tricked. Nothing pulls the reader out of a story more quickly than realizing the author used a gimmick to get their attention. Agents and editors will drop a manuscript as soon as they see it is starting with a dream. This is a big no-no.

Killing off a character too early


?Can I get you a cup of coffee??


?Certainly,? replied Jane. ?With a little cream if you have it.?


?Of course.? As Tarzan started toward the kitchen, the jealous hunter stepped into the living room and began to spray bullets. Tarzan crumpled to the ground, dead.


Okay, now this is exciting. It?s immediate. It?s not exactly a trick. So what doesn?t work with this beginning? The reader doesn?t care. I don?t know who Tarzan is, other than the fact that he seems to make a good cup of coffee. To the author this may be a poignant scene worthy of many tears. But that?s because they know that Tarzan is a hunky, leopard-skin-wearing swinger who protects little kids from bullies and donates his spare time knitting vine sweaters for less fortunate seniors. The author is crying buckets as they peck out this sad, sad beginning.

But since the author didn?t take time to let us meet Tarzan first?and hopefully come to like him?they?re shaking their heads and going, ?Huh. Wonder what that was all about?? It doesn?t take much, maybe only a page or so, but you have to make the reader care about a main character whom you are going to kill off at the beginning of the book. If the point is to just kill off some place holder, you might be able to get away with it, but even then it?s better if you can create a connection in some other way (tension, humor, action, etc.)

Sticking with the emotion theme, the next way to wreck a good beginning is with . . .

Unearned emotions


?Why?? Jasmine wailed, pounding her fists against the useless lamp. Hot tears dripped down her cheeks as she gnashed her teeth. It was so unfair!


?Why did he have to die?? She?d loved him so much?more than life itself. He was everything to her. Her little street rat. And now he was gone. Stabbed by a maniacal street vendor. She pressed her face against her silk pillow and wept until she finally fell asleep and dreamed about an ogre and a white-gloved rodent.

Can you guess what?s wrong with this beginning? I?ll give you a hint. It?s a lot like the problem with the last one. You haven?t earned the care of the reader yet. Again, you are relying on what you, the author, know about Jasmine?s situation. Because you know what?s happening here, the scene tugs at your heart. But to the reader, Jasmine is a whinny, snot-nosed, cry baby. If you want the reader to feel the pain of your protagonist, you have to earn it by creating a bond between reader and character.

Last, and perhaps most despicable, is . . .

Flowery descriptions


It was a warm day for early spring, and the smell of jasmine floated on the slightly damp air?the flower, not the spoiled princess. Everywhere Aurora looked, signs of life abounded. Red throated warblers warbled, sprouts sprouted, fuzzy little bunnies . . . did whatever it was bunnies do. The sun peeked down from between the branches of the aspens and maples. It was a wonderful day to be alive. If only she could find a prince to help her celebrate her sixteenth birthday.

If you don?t know what?s wrong with this scene, you haven?t been listening. Is it exciting? Is it immediate? Does it make the reader go, ?Yowza! I can?t wait to see what happens next!? If it does, this is not a reader you want to invite to your next party. As a writer you often begin with the scene inside your head. That?s why stories begin with things like, ?It was a dark and stormy night.? Scenes are cool and they add a ton of value, but very seldom are they the way to hook your reader.

Next we?ll talk about how to create good beginnings. But since this blog is getting pretty long and I promised I?d cover two more things, we?ll save good beginnings for tomorrow.

Prologues

This is almost as dicey a subject as my anti-SASE stance, which always gets me in trouble with other authors, but I?ll forge ahead at my own risk. Prologues are cool. One of the neatest things about them is that you can use any point of view, any tense, and start anywhere. The prologue is like a separate piece of the book that doesn?t have to follow the same rules.

However, there are two problems with prologues. While good readers?which means everyone who would read this blog?read prologues, many readers don?t. They see prologue and read ?optional.? This is especially bad because authors often use prologues for one or both of two reasons. Chapter one is boring, so they start with an exciting prologue or key information needs to be given to the reader that doesn?t fit well into the rest of the story. Maybe it is an event that happened hundreds of years before. Maybe it is a scene the protagonist isn?t there to witness.

If this is the case, there are two choices you can make as the author. Either you write a prologue anyway, and say ?Skip it at your own risk.? Or you write the story in such a way that the prologue is not necessary. Don?t like either of those choices? That?s okay neither do I. Which is why I opt for a third choice.

Write the prologue, but call it chapter one.

Finally we come to talking animals. Who doesn?t like talking animals? Without talking animals we wouldn?t have Mickey Mouse, Big Bird, or Thomas the Tank Engine. Okay he?s not really an animal, but you get my point.

Talking animals are cool. Dr. Doolittle thought so and so do I. In fact one my favorite characters in my book is a horse that tells really corny jokes like, ?Knock, knock.? ?Who?s there?? ?Dishes.? ?Dishes, who?? ?Dishes the coldest it?s been in weeks.?

It?s okay, go ahead and groan. I won?t be offended . . . much. Treat your talking animals the same way you would with talking people. Make sure that their attitudes, speech patterns, and motivations are different enough that people could tell them apart even if you couldn?t use speech tags.


So there you have it. Don?t kill off your characters too soon. Do include talking animals. And include prologues at your own risk. See you tomorrow.

Are Their MICE in Your Stories?

Great new questions everyone. Beginnings, talking animals, prologues. Lots of fun stuff to discuss. Since I recently wrote an article about where each type of storyline begins, I thought I'd post some of it here. Be aware that this is not answeing Melinda's question exactly. But you kind of need to know about the beginnings and endings of storylines before you try and figure out where to start your book. So we'll do this today and do prologues, the beginning of the actual book, and of course talking animals tomorrow. And by the way, great feedback on villians everyone. It really makes doing this blog fun when everone chips in. So who is your favorite villian of all time?

A lot of times writers are unclear on where their novel should start and end. I don?t mean the first paragraph or page per se. That?s really more of a choice of what will hook the reader. What I?m talking about is the point of focus of the novel in which the story itself actually begins. I?ll be discussing this in more detail at the Storymakers conference, but here is a brief example of what I am talking about.

A good novel should usually have at least three storylines. Too many storylines, and you risk losing the reader?s focus. Too few and you go from a novel to a tale. Each storyline must start and stop at the proper point, in order to give your novel a good flow.

Orson Scott Card divides stories into four types, which he calls the MICE quotient. Stories can either be milieu (place driven), idea driven, character driven, or event driven.

A good example of a milieu driven story is Lord of the Rings. In a place driven story, the story is about exploring a place unfamiliar to the main character. The story begins with the discovery of the new world and ends with the wrap-up of the world. People who complained the third LOTR movie had too many endings didn?t understand that the story was not about the ring. Therefore it didn?t end with the ring?s destruction. It didn?t end with Frodo returning home, because it wasn?t about him. It was about the world, which is why we needed to find out everything that happened to the world.

An idea driven story is a story that revolves around a problem. In a mystery, a person may be killed. The story ends when the killer is caught, killed, escapes, or in some way leaves the story. Idea stories typically have lots of false turns and red herrings. Characters may be minimally fleshed out.

Romances are a great example of character driven stories. The character driven story begins when the protagonist finds his or her lot in life unbearable (bad husband, no husband, dull job, etc.) It ends when the protagonist either changes her life or comes to realize she is actually okay with their life.

Event driven stories are stories where the ?world? is out of order. It begins when the main character tries to find a cure. It ends when the goal is achieved or when the character fails. The event can take many forms: a usurper, a betrayal of trust, or a crime unpunished.

By analyzing what type of story you have written, you will find it easy to locate the correct beginning and end.

Let?s use this tool to break down the first Harry Potter book.

Is there a problem Harry must solve? Yes it is the potential theft of the Sorcerer Stone. Who is trying to steal it and will HP and friends solve the mystery? It?s possible then, that HP1 could be an idea driven book. Except that the book does not begin or end with the mystery.

Moving on to milieu. Does the main character discover a new world? Obviously. A major part of the story is Harry discovering the world of magic. By seeing it through the eyes of a person who has never seen magic, we get to experience his delight as well. So HP1 could be a milieu. He does discover the world of magic before the issue involving the Sorcerer?s Stone, and he leaves the world after. So it could be a place story. But wait there?s more.

How about event? In almost every HP book, the world of magic and the world in general are in danger. In particular, Hogwarts itself is in danger of being shut down by one thing or another. And after Harry resolves the conflict, we learn that?for the moment, at least?Hogwarts is safe. Event? Maybe, but . . .

What every HP book starts and ends with is Harry being unhappy with his state in life. He is living in a closet, he doesn?t hear from his friends, he is possibly going to get kicked out, he has lost a loved one. And what is the last thing that happens in every book? Harry comes to settle with his current lot in life. By examining each of the storylines in HP 1, we determine that while there are elements of all story types (which is one of the things that gives the HP series such universal appeal), ultimately HP is a character driven story.

All of the above being said, you don?t have to start with the beginning of the main storyline?although you?ll almost always finish with it. It?s very common to start with a secondary story line. Tomorrow I will talk about the actual start of the book itself, including the pros and cons of using prologues. In the mean time take a look at your novel (or novel in progress and try to determine how many and what type of storylines you have going on)